by Jami Wright

Created on: January 22, 2011

First dates are always scary.  What will she think of me?  Will he like me?  What if I don't like him?  What if she is not who I thought she was?  The questions that go through a person's mind before a first date are endless.  But first thing you need to remember is that your date is most likely just as apprehensive and worrying about the same things.  So essentially you are both on the same level.  Evening out the playing field can take a little of the pressure you built up in your mind getting ready for the date.  Now that some of the anxiety is alleviated you still need to make sure you put your best foot forward on that first date.  First impressions are hard to change.  Here are some top first date mistakes to avoid. 

*  Avoid pretending to be someone you are not.  Simply be yourself, either your partner will like you or they won't.  If they don't it is better to find out in the beginning before any real feelings get into the mix.

*  Avoid the EX factor.  Don't talk about your ex, don't go out to a place you and your ex used to frequent, don't ask your date about his/her ex.  The first date should be about getting to know about each other.  Bringing another person along only makes it difficult to make a connection.

*  Avoid the phone games.  A guy knows when you get that call after 30 minutes that you have a friend calling to check up on you.  A girl knows if you are paying more attention to your phone than her the date is not going well.  The best thing to do is to turn the phones off and spend some time together.

*  Avoid picking the wrong place.  Don't take her to an Indian restaurant when she cannot eat spicy food.  Don't suggest going to a football game if you know nothing about football.  Pick a place that is mutually comfortable.  Somewhere quiet enough to talk and relaxing enough to put your date at ease.

*  Avoid showing all your cards.  So many people think the first date has to be something amazing.  Those dates are great.  But what happens on date number two?  How are you going to live up to that first date three months from now?  Make the date special but it doesn't have to be perfect (save that for the proposal).

*  Avoid dressing inappropriately.  Don't wear stiletto heels and a black dress to a bike rally.  Don't wear blue jeans and tennis shoes to a dinner.  Don't wear an elegant dress to a movie.  Make the plan together of where you are going so both people can dress appropriately.

*  Avoid group dates.  Sometimes people feel more comfortable in a group than one on one.  Groups are fine for social gatherings but first dates are a time to find out if you like each other.  Be brave show up alone.

Avoid this list of no nos and you will do just fine.  The important thing to remember is if the relationship is meant to be it will happen.  Relax and enjoy the time you have together. 

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