by Jami Wright

Created on: January 22, 2011

In today's society world long distance relationships happen more than one would think.  Many people cut their loses and break up before the actual separation date.  Then there are a few that feel there is something special about the person they are with and they take the chance on making a long distance relationship work.  A normal relationship is hard so you can bet that long distance is difficult.  Difficult but certainly not impossible.  For those that attempt it and succeed the rewards are amazing.

*The biggest key to making a long distance relationship work is to set up expectations.  Both people should set ground rules and hold each other to those rules.  In making these ground rules it is important to be honest about what you are and are not comfortable with.  It is also important to be fair.  If one person can do something than the other should be allowed as well. 

*Another important step in making a long distance relationship work is to set a time limit.  Make a commitment on how long you will be separated and stick to it.  Challenges are always easy when you have an end goal in sight.

*Also set up times when you will be visiting each other.  Whenever you set a goal it is always important to set step goals.  Think of those visitations as a stepping stone until you are together again.

*Speak to each other each day (if possible).  If you cannot have proximity or the physical side of intimacy at least keeping the emotional and intellectual side in tact.  Having a phone conversation once or twice a day is sometimes more contact than regular couples get.  when you have these conversations avoid arguments.  If a fight starts end the conversation and call back when both of you have had time to think about it.  One important key here is to never let your partner go to bed angry. 

The above steps will help you to set up a healthy structure.  Holding each other to the structure and expectations you both agreed upon will help you get through the challenging time apart.  Don't be afraid to add some spontaneity into the mix.  Send each other 'thinking of you' text messages when least expected, send a gift or some flowers once in a while, or make a surprise visit to see your partner.  Show them that whatever is keeping you both apart is not more important than the bound you both have to stay together.

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