by Aiden

Created on: March 11, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

Coming from a child's perspective who went went through a divorce not too long ago I really want to help parents with a few helpful hints on how to deal, for lack of a better word, with an unruly teenager effected by your divorce. These are just things I really wish my dad would have done with me, and maybe then it wouldn't have taken almost 6 years to regain a good relationship.

My first piece of advice is extremely simple, and will prove to be the most important of all my advice: just listen. I know I tried to tell my dad multiple times what was going on in my mind and in my life, and if wasn't good, he didn't want to hear it. So eventually I quit trying to talk to him, and as a result from holding everything inside, we fought alot. So in a nutshell, keep the lines of communication open because if you don't, you might miss you child's attempt to reach out for help when they need it the most. Also, tell them how proud you are of them whenever the occasion arises. This will help boost their self esteem dramatically. Lastly, do not bash the other parent. I promise, coming from personal experiences, it will only complicate the matter and drive you and your child apart.

Secondly, with all teenagers, give them some room to stretch their wings. If given freedom as a known priviledge, I can almost guarantee your child will feel more comfortable about bringing friends over and being open and honest about what is happening in their life.

Which leads me to the third and final broad tip I can give. Accept who your child is for who they are. Do not try to press upon them how you wish you could be or how you think they should be. Every person is different and during teenage years your child is trying to discover who they are and what their life is going to be. All I am trying to really say is, let them discover who they are by themselves, but be prepared to help them along the way, but only if they ask for it.

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