by Hanny Joy Davis

Created on: January 17, 2011

The age-old question of ‘what is cheating’ has plagued Men and Women since we began pairing off, a head scratcher that has seen the fall of many relationships. We all have our own views on what the definition of cheating really is, which seems to be the problem. When two people enter a relationship and have different ideas on what’s acceptable and what isn’t the relationships is bound to fail.

So what is cheating? Personally, I consider cheating any act I would not perform in the presence of my current partner. Be it hugging a male friend or flirting with a cute bartender, if I wouldn’t do it with my partner beside me I shouldn’t do it period. It keeps me out of trouble, and avoids later questioning if what I have done was wrong.

It is also applicable in other relationships. If I wouldn’t mention something about a friend to others with her within earshot I steer clear of bringing it into conversations she isn’t part of. The same also applies to my parents, who I have extremely honest relationships with. Before doing anything questionable I ask myself, would I tell my father about this?

Using the simple statement of “Would applicable person approve” I’ve managed multiple happy relationships, Friendships and an open conversation policy with my parents from a young age.

However, no matter what your personal opinion of what cheating is the only way to avoid confusion with a partner is to have a frank conversation at the beginning of your relationship. Is she/he ok with you showing affection towards friends of the opposite gender or flirting your way into some free drinks? Where does he/she draw the line?

This not only means you will not be accused of cheating when you believe you’re in the right, it also means you know your partner understands where you stand on the issue and you have peace of mind that they won’t ‘accidently’ and innocently cheat on you.

The last thing to remember when questioning what cheating is, is always ask first. Don’t just ask what your partner finds acceptable; ask if you have any suspicions. Leaving ideas of a cheating partner to fester only leads to further suspicions and a lot of internal babble you could do without.

Enjoy relationships, be respectful of your partner and if you find yourself falling for somebody else leave the relationship before you act. Always do to a partner what you want done to you.

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