by James Hall

Created on: January 16, 2011

Strings attached

Calm yourself

regression,

raging sudden storms

at will

like a child,

I cling to parent’s hands, closely

swamped in their endless gestures,

of love unconditional

bound, tightly, suffocating

playing make-believe with smiles

wrench, heart, just do it in secret

I’m standing small and screaming

for everything  lost

filth lingers in this dirty truth,

that yearning boys play dangerous

mistakes my mantle, awaiting the pull

of love how it used to feel,

known, a given, when given

seems these words, hold weight

no more a laughing matter,

paper and pen like friendship and faith,

forgiveness in verse,

sooner bare the soul, than scratch a surface

let this expression thrash

shatter, spread, surrender

to something deep

driving me downwards

entering bones broken

patching scars safely

make that park

shimmer, send me spinning

instead of stabbing  tired memories

with the dread of never-ending

familiar

I stare back sadly, at invisible eyes,

watching, intent on reaction

to cut loose the ties

craving that strength

to finally put myself,

first

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