by Melissa R. Bickel

Created on: January 09, 2011   Last Updated: January 11, 2011

Today society generally tends to focus on self rather than on others, so overcoming this sort of 'me first' attitude with children is necessary.  Selflessness needs to come from the mind and heart and not as an afterthought. Children need to see evidences of selflessness in action. They observe and learn by those around, so at home acts of selflessness should be evident.

Children learn by example, so the best way a child can learn selflessness first and foremost  is by a parents example. When a parent displays moments of selflessness, their child will soon learn how to conduct his or herself in situations where selflessness is warranted.

An easy way of introducing selfless acts of kindness at home could be by allowing your child the responsibility of taking on one of your chores around the home. Let him or her experience what it means to do something for someone else. This allows them a glimpse into your roll as a parent and can help them to appreciate what you do. This in turn could move them to vocal acts of appreciation, with selfless words of appreciation verbally expressed.

Simple expressions of gratitude, such as saying please and thank you to others, are expressions of selflessness. When these actions become habits your child will carry, internally, the tools of continuing such acts of kindness throughout their lives. These are small steps which lead to bigger actions of selfless deeds.

Doing kind things for neighbors is one way you can teach your child acts of selflessness. An example of this can be by having your child rake and bag leaves for an elderly neighbor. This lets them see the evidence of their hard work by experiencing the happiness of the neighbor, letting them see the joy which comes from their act of kindness.  This might in turn move them to reach out to others in the neighborhood without thoughts of a monetary reward.

If a reward is offered, you could suggest they donate the funds to a charity or allow them the opportunity of purchasing some groceries which they can give to a food bank that feed the needy. Being able to see and experience their selfless acts in person will build within a child an appreciation for what they have that others might not.

As a child grows up, he or she needs to continue seeing and being a part of selfless acts. Volunteering time at community centers or in a boys or girls club. Working in soup kitchens or being a part of fundraisers is a gift of self, without the thought of reciprocation.

So as a parent a continued active role in your child's life is needed. Encouragement and praise generously lavished on your child for selfless works can move them to continued deeds of kindness. Start when your child is young and before you know it, you will have taught not only your child, but will have planted seeds of selflessness in them which they will in turn move them to share with others, kindnesses down the road.

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