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Parenting is tough. Just when you get your kids figured out, they become teenagers, and EVERYTHING Changes...

So you had a cute little kids that liked Barney and Thomas the Train, and now he's an emo skater punk kid with metal in his face... What's going on?

So let's break it down, and give you practical advice for dealing with your teen.

Style - Kids are seeking their individuality, and they're trying to conform to the world around them. They also struggle with how to find that balance.

It's easy to judge them as freaks or to be disgusted by their appearance. Unfortunately, if parents express their real feelings on their kids style... it only alienates them, and creates a rift between parent and child, sending the younger ones into self destructive behavior.

Drawing Lines - Your child is trying to express his emotions with his style. She's trying to demonstrate who she is, or how she feels with her fashion. However, if you see too much skin, or your kid is asking for piercings or tattoos that you think could be dangerous, or inappropriate, you have to remember that as much as they hate you for it, it's the parents responsibility to draw boundaries, and keep kids safe, healthy, and productive.

Facial piercings and visible tattoos often make kids unemployable.
Skimpy clothes often attract the wrong kind of attention.

There are other rules that you will have to define and enforce based on your family, and your values.

Warning Signs - Black clothes, tongue rings, and weird hair are not necessarily a sign of trouble, but the kids that identify with this style often struggle with deep depression, and suicidal thoughts and often substance abuse. Not necessarily a large percentage are actively suffering, but the dark style could be an indicator.

Watch for scars on kids arms, look for dark circles, loss of appetite, and other signs of depression and drug use.

-Love- Kids need to know you love them. They need you to listen to them. You must not allow a difference in preference and a difference in style to bring a wedge in between you. Kids need you to show respect, love, and compassion. They need you to accept them unconditionally.

Learn more about this author, Josh Hatcher.
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