by Victoria Clare

Created on: January 08, 2011

You have good children who have grown into teenagers and suddenly they do not appear to listen to your advice or value your opinion at all anymore. Where did you go wrong, you are asking yourself, what is wrong with them?

Nothing has happened, except they have grown up, they are trying to think for themselves and make their own decisions. Even though they may be heading for a fall and you can see it from a mile away they will not appreciate you telling them. You must simply let them learn from the experience and be there to pick up the pieces when the inevitable happens.

You remember what it was like being a teenager; would you talk to your parents about the boy down the road you think is really hot, or the all night party you were planning on going to? The answer is probably no, so your teenagers are no different to how you were with your parents.

Teenager years are wonderful; you are usually filled with excitement, optimistic about everything and very impulsive. As your life goes on, the knocks you get and the things that happen to you over the years change your perception of life. Teenagers don’t know this yet, they think you are trying to spoil their fun when you say that getting a motorcycle is not a good idea, or ruin their life when you won’t let them go out past 10.They think you can’t possibly understand how they feel, you are old!

They seem to think that you don’t know how to have fun and all you do is moan, moan, moan or nag. So let their bedroom get to look like a toxic waste area, they have to live in it, let them sleep till gone noon at the weekends and let them make their own mistakes. You have brought them up in the best way you know how, they know what is right from wrong and they will hopefully not do anything you will disapprove of when they are out, you must step back and let them use the skills you have taught them over the years to find out who they are.

All you can do to get through these years is to guide them, when they will let you. Listen to their ideas, likes and dislikes. Try very  hard not to judge them or tell them what to do (this is quite a skill but you do get better at it as time goes on) but most of all let them learn by their experiences. As long as they are not doing anything that is potentially dangerous, just let them be teenagers. You probably have a great relationship with your Mom and Dad since becoming an adult and so will they.

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