by James Boyd

Created on: January 07, 2011   Last Updated: January 08, 2011

When you are down, say from a break-up with a long-time partner or spouse, you could consult with Dr. Phil or one of the other well-known gurus of pop psychology. You could do that but it would be wasted time and energy. They are, by and large, con artists who use the pretense of helping to disguise their real goal, which is self-promotion. "Chicken Soup for the Soul".  Keep a stiff upper lip. Look for roses, not thorns. Put your trust in __ (you fill in the blank).

Most people do not have the time or the money to seek help from a professional. For those who do, the process is always time-consuming and expensive but not always helpful. So what can you do to help move yourself to a brighter place?

The most important thing is that you have to actually do something. Whatever it is, the act of making the effort will almost certainly make your life a little better. Exercise is great. Even if you find you are still emotionally down, you will be healthier and stronger.

Drowning your sorrows is just stupid. You will move from being sad to being sad - and drunk. Alcohol and pills will not improve your situation.

One thing you can do, if you are not independently wealthy, is really throw yourself into producing income. Go make some money. If you have a job that pays you hourly and overtime is available, take advantage of that and engender a big leap in your paycheck. If you are on salary or overtime is not available, find another source of income. Write articles and post them online. Take paid surveys. Start selling on eBay.

Two big advantages ensue from vigorously pursuing income. It keeps you busy and can make you too tired physically and mentally to be overly concerned about whatever has been causing you grief. It also means you will soon have more money, which is usually a good thing.

Maybe you are not in need of extra income or your circumstances prevent you from earning more. In that case, do something that you enjoy doing and that you do very well. If you have dabbled in drawings of buildings and bridges and such, stop dabbling and really get to it. Cover the walls in your bedroom and your hall with drawings. The more you do it, the greater will be your technical and mechanical skill. Maybe someday you can have a career in that field. If it never makes you a dime, it is something you enjoy and you are proud of your work, so do it a lot.

The point of all this is that you must make a move. Staring at the television and feeling bad will never improve your life.

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