by Rex Coker

Created on: January 02, 2011   Last Updated: January 06, 2011

There are many indications of problems with parent and child separation. When children are young the bonding characteristics between parent and child can become overly dependant. The parent fears leaving the child with anyone. These fears are carried over to the child because they can feel the fear of their parents. Thus the child will not want to stay with the baby sitter or even the grand parents.

The child will cry during the separation process but will eventually become more comfortable with the sitter over a period of time. yet each time the child is left in the care of a qualified caregiver, the child will act unruly. This separation complex between both parent and child can lead to the child being to dependant on the parent. Thus giving the child a sense of insecurity in the future. A child should feel comfortable in their surroundings. The parent should feel comfortable with the child's surroundings as well.

There are no quick fixes to parent child separation. The only healing concept is the process of time, and the erradiction of fear in both child and parent. Over bonding the first year of the child's life has to be balanced. Fear is the major factor between both parent and child during separation. Through fear, both parent and child suffer from anxiety due to being separated from each other. The effects of separation can become more and more problematic as the months and years go by. A parent should be aware of how the bonding between them is balanced. Otherwise separation will always be a problem for the parent and child. 

Many children that suffer from this separation anxiety use this problem to gain attention. Making the parent feel guilty about leaving them behind. The parent in turn takes that extra time in the morning reassuring the child that they will return and if the child is good they will be rewarded once they return. This method is what the child uses to get what they want. Children will develop this tool to use as their means of getting their way with the parent. A parent can deal with this problem if they catch the concept of how the child is manipulating everyone. If a parent were to simply arrive with the child at the sitter, and turn around and leave. The recovery time of dealing with separation anxiety will be greatly reduced once the parent is gone. The quicker the parent is in and out of the sitters. The better it will be to ease and reassure the child and calm them.

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