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buffet table, grace the entry-way, etc. Pay for your corsages for mothers, grandmothers, etc. Tell mom and granny ahead of time that they will only wear their flowers during the ceremony. Then, at the reception, have your friend, wedding coordinator, or anyone creative, collect all the corsages and lay them on the wedding cake tiers. You have instant fresh flowers on your cake and you didn't spend anymore money. When the reception is over, give the corsages back to their owners. Men's boutonnieres work well for this, too. Pay for your bouquet and your bridesmaids' bouquets and choose a "hand-tied" type of bouquet. Buy, rent or borrow simple glass vases (Wal-Mart sells plain glass cylinders for $3) and put them on tables at the reception with a little water in them. When you and your girls arrive at the reception, just plop those bouquets in the vases and you have instant centerpieces. These are just a few of the ways you can pay once for your flowers, but get twice the use out of them.

Cake - Forgo the traditional wedding cake if you just can't afford the big ticket. I did a wedding once where the groom refused to pay the high price for a groom's cake. He loved, however, chocolate Ding Dongs and cold milk. So, some of the people assisting with the wedding surprised everyone by building a big pyramid of unwrapped Ding Dongs and put pitchers of cold milk on the table. It was a HUGE hit. For a bride's cake the same could be done with any other type of snack cake; Twinkies, cupcakes, etc. Another bride I worked with went to Sam's wholesale, bought a bunch of those frozen cheesecake squares, and put them on little paper doilies in the center of each table. That was dessert and centerpiece at the same time. Everyone loved it. If you know someone who makes nice cakes, don't be afraid to politely ask her if she would be willing to make your cake if you buy the ingredients, and let that be her gift to you. I know many brides who did this and offended no one and had lovely cakes.

Food - This is an easy one. Go to Sam's or Costco or any other wholesale bulk market. Buy mini-quiches, tortilla spirals, cream puffs, ladyfingers, etc. etc....any kind of finger food that you can buy in bulk. Organize a small group of friends, aunties, grannies, neighbors, who are just itching to get involved in your big day, and make them your cater-waiters. Put them in charge of the food and let them do their own thing. Who can't open a box of tortilla spirals and put them on a tray? Designate one person as the head rooster, though, or you might have a fight in the hen house.

Bartering - Are you a tax-preparer? Massage therapist? Dental hygienist? Is your hubby-to-be an auto mechanic? If you have a service you can provide, approach others with an offer to barter (trade) your services. "If you'll make my cake for me, I'll do your taxes for you." Be sure to make the trade fair, dollar value for dollar value. This is more common than you think. Just be careful what you trade and with whom and sign contracts if you feel it is necessary.

I realize how long this article is, so I'll conclude here. One thing that every other writer has said that I agree with the most... This is YOUR day. Don't let others boss you around and tell you what you want and what you need. I've been a bride and I've been a bridesmaid and I've been the wedding florist, coordinator, singer, photographer, etc. I know from years of experience that you can always politely say, "I appreciate your ideas and input, but I really want to do this my way."

Happy weddings!

Learn more about this author, Esmerelda Q. Culpepper.
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