by Carissa Johnson

Created on: January 03, 2011   Last Updated: January 06, 2011

Moving away from family and friends to a new town can be a confusing and difficult time for children, and often they struggle with it more than they let on. As a parent, you can help your child adjust with the change in their life by being understanding and gentle as you help them get through it. Here are some ways you can make the adjustment easier.

*Let them know

Don't keep the upcoming move a secret from your kids. Give them plenty of time to adjust and tell their friends. Tell them why you're excited about it, and show them pictures of the new house. If possible, let them visit once before moving so they know where they're going and what to expect.

*Help them say goodbye

If your child has grown up in the town he is leaving, he likely has buddies who he promised to be friends with forever. This can be a hard change, but allowing him to say goodbye properly is helpful. Throw a going away party for your child, inviting all of his closest friends. Make sure that the mood of the party stays positive, and while sadness is expected, don't allow it to drag on for too long, or your child will finish the party more disappointed than when it began. If possible, document the party with a video and have all his friends tell a few short memories in front of the camera.

*Help them maintain contact with old friends

Give him an address book where he can document the names, phone numbers and email addresses of the people he wants to stay in contact with, and make  sure everyone at his going away party and at school fills it out. Help him set up an email account so that he can keep in contact with his friends. These relationships will likely die out eventually, but he will appreciate keeping in contact with them a little while longer. If your situation allows, maybe he can plan a summer visit to his old home to see all his friends once more.

*Let them get involved in the moving process

Give your child full responsibility to pack up his own belongings into boxes, helping him with organization and fragile objects along the way. If he finishes that, he can help box up games and movies, or some kitchen appliances. When it comes time to load the moving van, give him assignments that he will enjoy. Ask him to do research on the town you're moving to and tell you some interesting facts about it. You will be consumed with the process of moving, but your child will need extra attention as well, so be sure to give it to him.

*Get plugged into the new community right away

Leaving a place filled with good friends and entering a place where he knows no one can be a lonely time for a child, and he should make some friends right away. Find a good school for your child and enroll him to start as soon as possible. Depending on his hobbies, find a sports team or activity club that interests him. If your new neighbors don't make an effort to welcome you first, introduce your family to them and find out their names and their children's ages. If you're lucky, your child can find a playmate nearby that he can become friends with, making home not seem so lonely.

While moving is never easy for children who are attached to their old home, it can be easier if you, as a parent, do your best to make the process smooth and comfortable. 

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