by Daniella Antelo

Created on: January 04, 2011   Last Updated: January 08, 2011

Break-ups are a complicated thing and should not be taken lightly.  Sometimes the break-up is more confusing than the actual relationship, although they are usually weight lifting.  If you’re in a short term relationship, then it’s simpler to cut ties and move on.  If you are in a long term relationship there is a greater dynamic when you’re contemplating leaving your partner.  There are a number of things about you, your spouse, and your whole relationship that should be considered and reviewed thoroughly, before making the decision to end it. 

Here are some that were important to me to think about:

They’ve relinquished the enthusiasm to talk or open up...

You may not be staying up till odd hours of the morning chatting about everything and everything anymore, but talking about things (important or not), should be the most comfortable and natural thing in a relationship.  That’s how trust and honesty and your bond, stays strong. 

When your partner has, over time, lost interest in opening up about his or her feelings, for whatever reason, and says that there’s nothing wrong when you ask them, or has become fully reserved and silent, then you know there’s some action that needs to be taken. 

Having a partner not talk to you, can lead a trail of self doubt, uncertainty about the survival of the relationship, endless questions about where their heart is, or, what you have done or didn’t do.

Talking about your future is a sore subject... 

When you and your partner have been together for a while, it’s only natural to talk about your future; your five-year-plan.  Realistically, a relationship should be moving forward.  It doesn’t always have to be in rapid motion, but you should be moving towards something, together.  Otherwise, you just stay in a lull, while everyone around you ventures on.

If you’re spouse is constantly changing the subject, or, grunts and rolls their eyes, when you bring up possibly having kids, or moving in together, or travelling somewhere, or the need to “make plans”, or even starts a fight because they’re annoyed with the conversation, then you need to take a step back and think about why they have resistance.  Is it because you bring it up all the time, or are they just really tired that day, or do they even want the same things anymore? 

Understand that talking about your future is important

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