by Andrew H Brown

Created on: January 03, 2011   Last Updated: January 04, 2011

I'm not exactly the biggest fan of action movies, in fact there are  many that I've never even seen, such as the Die Hard and Terminator series, but in recent months I've been watching a few more, most notably the Transporter and Crank series. I quite like Jason Stratham  which has perked up my interest in this genre somewhat. So I was quite happy to receive The Expendables DVD from Santa this year...sorry, last year. The movie was co-written and directed by Sylvester Stallone.

The Expendables are a group of mercenaries, namely: Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone), Lee Christmas (Jason Stratham), Yin Yang (Jet Li), Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren) and Toll Road (Randy Couture.)

The plot is pretty straightforward. A group of mercenaries are hired to eliminate a corrupt dictator on a small island called Vilena somewhere off the coast of central America. They get the job from someone using the alias Mr Church (Bruce Willis.) This same scene features Arnold Schwarzenegger as a rival mercenary who turns the job down flat. This scene promises so much but delivers so little. Sure, Schwarzenegger and Stallone slag each other off for a few minutes while Willis smiles ruefully, but it could have been a lot better.

Obviously it's not as straightforward as that. The dictator is a mere puppet under the control of an ex 'agency' op (Eric Roberts), the real bad guy. Ross and Xmas check out the island arriving in, of all things, a flying boat, or seaplane (flashback to Fantasy Island - ze plane, ze plane) They decide not to take the job, return home, then Ross decides to do it on his own and the others decide to help. (I can't help thinking that it's a strange, and unprofitable way for mercenaries to earn their living, but there you go.) What follows is an orgy of explosive action liberally peppered with copious amounts of testosterone and ripples of botox doused with gallons of tomato sauce (or whatever they use for fake blood these days). In the end, the good guys win...quelle surpise.

There are various subplots going on such as Xmas's girlfriend hooking up with some other guy who then beats up on her. Needless to say this is a big mistake on his part but it gives Stratham the opportunity to sort out the guy and his buddies in his own inimitable style. There's also a strange thing going on with Lundgren's character who kind of swaps sides and swaps back again, I think. Meanwhile, Stallone's and Mickey Rourke's characters are

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