by Dee Cain

Created on: January 03, 2011

What are the skills that make up a mother? If a woman sat down to actually make a list of skills needed to be a mother, surely she would miss many traits of motherhood. A mother has to be the nurturer, organizer and possess the ability to lovingly apply a bandage while disciplining the child in the next breathe. No one could adhere to a strict list of skills for being a mother. The skills come from experience and change frequently.

A woman bringing home a newborn baby faces a monumental task. A new mother may face moments of anxiety and fear coupled with self-doubt about her abilities to care for her child. Especially with all the books on child-rearing and advice of well meaning family or friends, this can be a scary time. That is when instinct takes over and confidence in herself develops. It usually doesn't take long for the new mother to become a mind reader as she realizes the reasons her baby cries. 

The organizer takes over as the mother learns all the task she has to do and the amount of time she has to do it in. Some mothers run their lives and their households like a well oiled machine. Others may not have such a rigid routine but the results are usually the same. Things get done when they need to be done and other things get put off for a little while. As the child grows the matter of time gets more hectic and stressful, but somehow, it always seems to work out.

Nurturing seems to come very easily to some women. Perhaps it's the bond that is formed while carrying the child during pregnancy. Yet there are others who may need help to learn nurturing ways. Many mothers learn from the example of mothering from their own mothers, as they were growing up. If for some reason that example wasn't there then a new mother may need help to develop the skill of nurturing. It doesn't mean she is a bad mother, simply that she needs guidance until she feels comfortable with her child.

Many mothers are the disciplinarian in the family. For whatever reason, such as, the father being away while working, there being no father in the child's life or the father being present but not taking an active part in the disciplining of the child. The task of telling the child no or doling out punishment for misbehavior often falls on the mother. At times it can feel as though a mother is disciplining a more than loving them. When in truth, the two go hand in hand. Teaching a child right from wrong is one of the greatest gifts a mother can give her child. 

Another skill that comes from being a mother is the ability to be unselfish. The child's needs seem to take precedence over the mother's needs. A mother will sacrifice her own wants and needs to make sure her child has what he/she needs. There may be something the mother has wanted for a long time but if her child needs new shoes, a mother will put off buying for herself to buy the shoes for her child. There may not be extra money for somethings but if the child needs something, a mother usually figures out how to cut corners to acquire the things needed.

The greatest skill is love. It is given unconditionally. Mothers don't just love their children when they are good, they love their children through the tough times also. Sometimes when a mother denies her children's wishes, such as setting boundaries, that is when she is showing them the most love. Mothers never want to see their children unhappy but they also know the dangers their children face.

There are many skills to being a mother for she wears a variety of hats during her lifetime. To make a list of skills that make up a mother would be hard task to accomplish. There are many skills that make up a mother.

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