by Beverly Bochenek

Created on: January 02, 2011

I can remember as a kid going with my brother on his paper route. At one point in the year, he would do more than just fling the paper on the porch; he would go up to the door and ring the doorbell to deliver the bill for the year or half-year.  I clearly remember one woman coming to the door and being rather adamant and rude about not giving him a tip. My brother, with grace that doesn’t usually accompany someone not quite teenager, said it was fine and that she did not need to give him anything. More often than not, he walked away from someone’s home with a couple of bucks from each household. Given his paper route was several blocks, it was quite a haul.

Should we give those people who provide city or government services a gift during the holidays or at any point during the year? I think it depends a great deal on how well they perform their job. Some of those public servants make more than most of the people they serve thanks to strong unions. I’ve known women who turned their noses up at the thought of dating a ‘garbage man’ until they learn he makes more than the man in three piece suit could hope to make. Suddenly dating a ‘domestic engineer’ is something they can handle.

The same can be said of my mailman, the taxi driver that lives down the street and person in the toll booth who takes my change. They make a decent living.

But that’s not the point. The difference between giving a tip to the waitress and to the mailman is that the waitress depends upon those tips as part of their living. For the public servant, you can offer them something other than money – and it’s a nice thing to do especially if they seem to enjoy what they do.

I don’t mind putting bottles of water in the freezer during the summer months and handing one to the mail carrier bringing my mail in 90 degree heat. I don’t mind because that mailman was the one who said he noticed I had been gone from home for eight weeks and was sorry to hear my father had died.

I don’t mind making out Christmas cards to the regular toll takers on my way to work. No other gift just a nice card saying I appreciate how nice and friendly they were doing what has to be a repetitive, boring job. I don’t mind because they learned my name and that just made the morning and afternoon that much better.

It doesn’t hurt me at all to give some cookies to our garbage men who sing – badly – as they pick up the garbage. They’ve been known to wait a little while when I don’t quite bring my bags to the back before they get there. And the cookies will keep them quiet for a few minutes.

No matter how much money you make, you want someone to say you’re doing a good job. While the money can be a balm when things are bad, you don’t think about the bucks when someone acknowledges you’ve done something that money cannot buy – made their life, easier, better or more enjoyable – if only for a moment.

That woman who yelled at my brother that she wouldn’t give him a tip didn’t need to tell him that. She could have simply paid her bill and closed her door. Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe she really didn’t believe the position wasn’t deserving of a tip. She has that right. There are no rules that say you have to tip anyone – especially a public servant – but a little something, sincerely and well intentioned – can make them, and us, feel better on ordinary days.

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