by Greg Dunn

Created on: January 02, 2011   Last Updated: June 12, 2011

There are many ways to drink and taste beer.  

 THE GUZZLE.  This is when you lift the drink and pour it down the throat, within seconds it disappears.  This method is good if beer is in limited supply and will allow you to drink more than anyone else.  It can be detrimental if there is ample beer and you apply the guzzle method many times during the night. Eventually,  you will either grope your mother-in-law or pass out where your friends will write stuff on your forehead.  You may awake outside near the mail box with your butt in the air with a sign pointing down saying deliver here.

THE SIP.  This is when you milk the beer, bringing it to your lips taking a sip.  Advantages to this are your beer last for hours. It is good when you are on a very limited budget or you need to drive or trying to keep a clear head when you are out with your girlfriend’s parents.   The disadvantages are when you with friends and they starting calling you a "wuss" because you are sipping your beer.  Or you are out with your girlfriend’s parents and they begin to question your masculinity because you have milked your beer for the last hour.

THE GULP.  You lift the beer allowing a sizeable amount to enter your mouth.  Once your mouth is at maximum capability, you swallow feeling it flow down the throat.  When it enters the stomach, an orgasmic look comes over your face and you let out an “AAHHHHHHHH”.   This is perfect when coming in from a hot day of labor and you are receiving your first beer.  Or you are at a friend’s house and you want him to know the beer he is serving is really appreciated.   Disadvantages are there are only so many “AAAHHHHH’s” you can do before it becomes annoying to everyone around you. 

Then there is the "correct way" to taste beer.  The way connoisseurs state to drink beer.  I know most of my NFL Fantasy Football playing beer drinking buddies won’t know this word so I will give you display it here.  Connoisseurs are so called experts able to appreciate a field; especially in the fine arts.  My buddies and myself  know Beer Drinking is a fine arts. And over the years, we have really APPRECIATED the art!  I consider us more than experts.  But, as we get older and in the hopes of checking off an item on our bucket list by attending Denver’s Great American

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