by Christopher Deshong

Created on: January 02, 2011

I woke up late on Black Friday, still clothed from the previous night and feeling disgustingly hungover. I slowly got myself up and mobile. A quick trip to the bathroom and then the kitchen. I was so thirsty. I rinsed a cup and poured myself some soda. Feeling kind of hungry I decided to get another bit of monkey bread that Stephanie had made at her parents house.

Grabbing a plate from the cupboard, I went to serve myself a helping of the cinnamon bread. Lifting the foil from off the cookie sheet I realised that there was nothing there but a few crumbs. I wondered to myself, surely no one could have eaten it all up in the middle of the night. I turned and looked behind me at my feet and there stood our German Shepard, Jett, with a look of concern on his face.

It slowly dawned on me that perhaps I was staring into the eyes of the culprit behind the missing bread. I then began to worry a bit. I know that chocolate and onions are a big no no for dogs. Is it possible that there is any chance that pecans or raisins are poisonous to dogs? I shrugged my shoulders and went about my day which was very uneventful.

The following morning I got out of bed and walked into the living room to light a cigarette and get a start on the day when I was confronted by a very foul odor. The room stunk to high hell of crap. Oh no, no no no. I turned the corner of the couch and looked at  Jett in his kennel. The sight that was before me was horrible. He was huddled in the corner of his kennel. In the front of the kennel by the door was a huge puddle of diarrhea. In the back corner across the wall, diarrhea. Across the floor in front of the kennel, diarrhea.

A tear came to my eye, partly from the awful smell, and partly from the fact that I realised that I would be the one having to spend the better part of the morning cleaning the mess. Before I really acted I went back in the room to inform Steph that the dog had crap all over the place and it was disgusting. She came out and looked and just said, "Oh no," putting her hand to her face. Unfortunately for me she only had an hour or so to get ready for work and she would have to leave.

I got the dog from the kennel by the collar and tried leading him unto the bathroom in the shortest route possible, so that he wouldn't trail the crap he stepped in all over the place. Of course this didn't go well and he panicked a bit. I managed to get him into the tub and bathed him. I towel dried him and resolved that the best thing to

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