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The abuse survivor's guide to finding a therapist

Many people, survivors or not, don't realize that you have to shop for a therapist and that not all therapists specialize in the same areas. I think it is especially important for people who have been through trauma and abuse to carefully choose a therapist.

I have been to many different therapists over the years.

I went in high school to a psychologist and then in college I went to the free clinic at school that was staffed by people getting their degrees in counseling. Because of that, I rarely spent more than two semesters with one person before they graduated.

After college, I went to a clinic that offered therapy on a sliding scale basis, and again went through various therapists as they moved or took jobs in different areas. I finally ended up with a therapist who specialized in treating sexual abuse survivors, and I can say it made all the difference in the world!

I highly recommend that you find someone who specializes in treating people who have been abused. One of my counselors in college told me that some counselors have their own issues around a certain area that they haven't dealt with or they just don't feel comfortable with. He told me that his mother was disabled and had a terminal illness so he felt like he would refer someone with similar problems to a different therapist so his own issues wouldn't interfere with the therapy.

The problem is, not all therapists are as insightful or aware of their own issues as this guy was. I have heard abuse survivors tell stories of counselors who just didn't get it, who made them feel worse because they had no idea how to counsel someone who had been molested but tried to do it anyway.

Some therapists will say in their ad online or in the yellow pages that they specifically deal with abuse issues. However, keep in mind that some therapists are just starting out and don't have the money to afford an ad in the yellow pages. There are many sites online for survivors that will help you find someone who has experience dealing with abuse survivors as well.

Once you have a couple of names, call the therapist and see if they will give you a free ten or fifteen minute interview. If they will, when you go to the interview, see how you feel with them and the space that they have. Ask them things like how much experience they have dealing with survivors, what their approach is, and just see how you feel. Do you think you could open up to this person eventually?

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