by RachelK

Created on: December 29, 2010   Last Updated: December 31, 2010

When people think of domestic abuse, they often picture battered women who have been physically assaulted. Not all abusive relationships involve violence. Just because you’re not physically battered and bruised doesn’t mean you’re not being abused.

Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, minimized, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is mental or psychological, rather than physical. Many times emotional abuse is minimized but can leave long lasting scars on its victims.

There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most telling sign is an extreme fear of your partner. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner and you are constantly watching what you say and do in order to avoid a confrontation—chances are your relationship is unhealthy and abusive. Controlling and belittling behavior are two main signs of an abusive relationship.

Some other cues that would likely indicate an abusive relationship are as follows:

*You feel afraid to break up with them for fear of what they will do.

*You feel tied down, feel like you have to constantly check-in.

*You feel afraid to make decisions or bring up certain subjects so that the other person won’t get mad.

*You tell yourself that if you just try harder and love your partner enough that everything will be just fine.

*You find yourself crying a lot, being depressed or unhappy.

*You find yourself worrying and obsessing about how to please your partner and keep them happy.

*You find the physical or emotional abuse getting worse not better over time.

*Your partner makes threats when you have an argument or as a method of controlling you.

*Your partner tries to isolate you from friends and family.

*Your partner displays controlling behavior or monitor your activities.

If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you’re hesitating—telling yourself that it’s none of your business, you might be wrong, keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life. If you yourself are being abused tell someone and seek help and safety for you and your children.

If you are in an abusive relationship and need immediate help call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-787-3224. You do NOT have to live in fear!

http://www.domesticabuseproject.org/

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