by Felicity Jakc

Created on: December 29, 2010

The art of gift giving is a delicate and complex skill, which some people are really, really good at.

I'm not sure why. Sometimes it's because they know the recipient extremely well and/or have just received secret information about something that person desperately or secretly covets. Sometimes it's simply because they are very empathetic souls, or extremely observant or possessing higher levels of deductive reasoning allowing them to see or sense deeper into the secret desires of others than most of us.

Which, when you think of it, is a bit creepy.

But, that aside, the act of gift giving can be viewed as an act of courage as easily as it can be seen as generosity, or succumbing to social pressures from one source of another.

I bought gifts for my sister-in-laws older children this year that went down well. Last years didn't. I put more thought into last years than into this years. I've known these adult children since they were five and six years old. They are now 26and 27. I get Christmas gifts for them every year. This year one of them turned to me and said 'you always pick such good presents!' Generous though this comment is, it is not true, simply because in all gift giving some times it works, sometimes it doesn't.

My mother on the other hand decided to buy my daughter something this year rather than giving money. She wandered around her favourite chemist shop with it's wide selection of pretty little knick-knacks and pleasantly wrapped sweet smelling things and finally chose a bracelet. As she was talking I was visualizing the shop and thinking my daughter wouldn't be seen dead in a place like that , and also had a deep suspicion that my daughter wasn't really into jewellery. Just as this thought crossed my mind my mother hesitated, took a deep breath, burst out laughing and said 'She hated it!, and I suddenly realised I have never ever seen her wear bracelets, or jewellery. I don;t know what I was thinking!'

I have known my nephew and niece for years, and my mother has known my daughter all her life, and we have all regularly bought gifts for one another. And from this ongoing experience two, irrefutable facts about gift selection have been experienced or faced with over the years.

Firstly, it is impossible to get it right every time. Failure must reasonably be expected unless the mind and soul searching skills of the gifter are at scary levels. Two. There is nothing, absolutely

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