by Jennifer Moore

Created on: December 29, 2010

How does a grandparent cope when denied access to their grandchildren? It is not an easy thing to deal with, grandparents may feel neglected left out and hurt. Grandparents want nothing more than to spend time with their grandchildren. More often than not, the parents either live far away in another state or just simply refuse to allow the grandparent’s access to the grandchildren.

The parents of the grandchildren do not realize the importance they grandparent plays in the child’s life. Nor do they understand the importance the child plays in the grandparent’s life. All grandparents and grandchildren should enjoy a bond as often as possible. Many times grandparents only can see the grandchildren once a year if that. When this happens as the children get older they not even know or realize they have other grandparent’s who love them just as much as the ones they were raised with.

Grandparents who are denied access to the grandchildren often become hurt and confused as to why the children do not allow access to the grandchildren. When your children grow up and move away it can be difficult when grandchildren are born because you may not always get to be there to see them grow or see the first steps, the first two, the first smile and the list goes on. Coping with all of this is very stressful on a grandparent who wants to see the grandchildren on a regular basis.

Parents who raise their children away from the grandparents are not doing children right because all children need to know all of their grandparent’s not just one set of grandparents. If there is a conflict between parent and child, the issue needs to be resolved so that the grandchildren and grandparents can interact with each other and know the importance of family on all sides.

When grandchildren only know one set grandparents the other set of grandparents feel ignored and left out when it comes to seeing the grandchildren. When this happens, the grandparents wonder how the children will react when they finally do see them again. Grandchildren not raised around the grandparents will often shy away when they arrive at the grandparent’s home. This can often cause the grandparents stress and hurt because all they want is a relationship with their grandchildren.

The parents of the grandchildren may seem as though they do not care how it affects the grandparent’s by not having access to the grandchildren. This alone can hurt the grandparent more than anything; it is almost as bad as not seeing your grandchildren.

So, how does a grandparent cope when denied access to their grandchildren? The best thing a grandparent can do is to enjoy every moment that they do get with the grandchildren even if it is for short period. Make frequent phone calls to talk to your grandchildren so the do not forget who you are and will at least remember your voice. On birthdays send a card and for Christmas send many gifts. I know this does not make up for the time lost with your grandchildren but it may help you cope with not seeing them on a regular basis.

The best way to cope with having denied access to grandchildren is to talk with the child’s parents.  Ask if there is a solution that will work out for all involved. Remember, grandparents need their grandchildren as much as the grandchildren need their grandparents. No grandparents should ever be denied access to the grandchildren under any circumstances.

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