by Daniella Antelo

Created on: December 28, 2010   Last Updated: December 31, 2010

I recently broke up with my boyfriend, for the third and final time, a month before Christmas, and it was a split that we both knew was coming.  We had, very maturely, decided that we wanted different things and that we would still be friends.  This worked out for the first little while, until all the Christmas music on the radio came on and the dinners and office parties, and gift lists started coming into play.  You go from years of R.S.V.P.ing for two, to signing cards with just your name on it.  It's quite unnerving, no matter how amicable your split was, to come to terms with the idea that you will be flying solo for the holidays.

You will suddenly miss the fact that you won't be arguing anymore about who's family you're going to have dinner at, or setting a dollar limit on each other's gifts.  I learned to think of that as a good thing.  It's less of a headache and a big money saver.  Everytime you hear Blue Christmas, by Elvis, you may get a few tears in your eyes, or when you decorate your tree by yourself, you may feel a little down.  (Tip:  When you decorate your tree, don't play Christmas music, put on the television (possibly a comedy) to keep your mind distracted and your mood upbeat.)

There in no real step-by-step solution to this problem. 

The key is to distract yourself as much as you can.  That's it.  What you should do is minimize the sad music and the work events that require you to bring a date.  Also, avoid sending season's greetings to his/her family, as a formality (no matter how thoughtful of a person you are).  Avoid seeing your ex for a holiday cheers before or after the holidays.  Do not exchange gifts or cards with each other.  It will just remind you that you two will not be together, and will be hurtful to yourselves.

Take any offer you get from your friends to come tor a meal or drinks at their place.  That way you know that they'll be talking about their own problems and there will be a lot of laughing going on.  Also, make sure your plans with your family are solid, so you know exactly what you're doing and where you're going.  Avoid talking about your ex in any way (even if the two of you have decided to remain friends).  If it just so happens that subject of you two come up in a conversation, keep it short and light and direct the conversation somewhere else.  You'd be surprised how many things about your family you'll notice, when it's just you coming to dinner.  

Spending time with your family and friends during the holidays is a great way to realize how happy you are with it just being you and that you're not really alone.      

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