by Viktoria Michaelis

Created on: December 18, 2010   Last Updated: December 22, 2010

I can imagine you have been thinking about it for quite some time: these strange feelings; these desires; the way your glance seems to go in the wrong direction; the lack of anything but feigned interest in the captain of the local football team. You probably imagine that there is either something wrong with you, or that the whole thing is a phase which, like acne or puberty, will pass you by quickly and without leaving any marks. You enjoy looking at women and your thoughts turn to a female partner quicker in those more intimate moments than to a male one.

First of all let us get one thing straight: there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone, whether they wish to admit it or not, has thoughts and feelings, even the most intimate ones, revolving around members of their own sex. No one else can see these emotions: there is no change in the way you walk or your appearance; it is not going to appear on a billboard beside the road where everyone can see; it is not a massive problem. At least, it is not going to be a problem if you have the self-confidence to accept yourself for what you are, a normal, developing person just like everyone else. How you deal with this development, this coming of age, depends entirely on you.

One thing that you can do is suppress your impulses. In other words, you can lie to yourself and imagine that your desires are going to vanish one day: you will wake up in the morning and have exactly the same longings as everyone else around you; the captain of the football team will be your one and only; the cheerleaders will just be a pretty clique obscuring your view of the team. You can live a lie for the rest of your days and still have a relatively normal life.

Or you can accept that you may either be Bisexual or a Lesbian, a state of affairs which I can promise you from personal experience, is not quite as bad as it sounds. You can accept that you are part of a group of wonderful human beings, probably a bigger portion of society than you imagine, and live your life to the full. In the end it makes little or no difference what you decide, you will continue to develop as nature had intended; how you deal with your sexuality is another matter entirely.

The first thing you need to do is take a look in the mirror. Take a close look at your features, at your face and hair. Has anything changed? I doubt it: you will see exactly the same person standing there as you see every morning when you wash or do your teeth; the same person who appears

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