by Bethany Harvey

Created on: December 17, 2010   Last Updated: December 22, 2010

At first glance it will seem to some that there are no positive aspects of being a single parent.  I too felt that way.  I felt that being a single parent would be the worst thing that could happen to me or anyone else.  I pitied all the single parents that I knew.  Until I became one.

Being a single parent was the last thing I would choose or want.  Three years ago I became a single parent.  Not by choice...not by far.  I fought it.  Tried hard to not be a single parent.  There are some things in life we cannot control.  We cannot control others.  We can only control ourselves. 

I have found that there are really some positive aspects of being a single parent.  Sometimes I really enjoy being a single parent.  As a matter of fact most of the time I can say that being a single mom is a tough job.  Tough or no...I believe being a single mom , for me, at least is turning our to be a positive experience. 

First of all, my parenting style is not questioned as much as it would be if I had a full time partner.  I can pretty much parent how I please and see fit to meet my daughter's needs.  I can make a schedule and stick to it without another person changing it.  I can enforce rules and habits and not have them questioned or interrupted.  Being a single parent places less stress ,I believe, on the parent child relationship.  There are no o other parents for the child to go to to question authority or to see which one will do their bidding.

Being the child of a single parent is tough, no doubt about that.  With only one parent, however, the child does not have confusing signals about chores, rules or the wishes of the parent.  I am not saying that things are all rosy.  The single parent and their child are also missing out on the key element of the other parent and the richness that they bring to the family.  That being said, the single parent has no interference in any aspect of raising there child and I find that makes life easier. 

I have found that my views and values that I wish to instill in my child are far easier to encourage and foster.  What I wish for my child I can instill in them without question.  This makes for a more pleasant home environment on me and my child. 

Another positive aspect of being a single parent is I get my child all to myself.  This might seem to some selfish or wrong.  I truly believe that one on one with my children will benefit them in the long run in a very positive way.  There is no adult fighting in my household, no criticisms of adults for each other and no mixed messages to the children.  We are happier and more peaceful than some 2 adult households.  My situation is far from I deal.  I have the stresses of 2 parent households with only myself to deal with all of it.  I am all alone with sickness and parenting.  Would I change it? No, not at all.  I think being a single parent, while tough, is better than I believed and I am doing all I can to raise great kids!

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