by Carley Gyles

Created on: December 12, 2010

It Was Not Supposed To Be

It happened again;
it was not supposed to be
But there, in the night
it happened to me.

Sneaks up like a serpent
the vengeance I bear
Without time to think,
No time to prepare.

With thoughts so unkind,
the struggle begins.
Over and over again,
Battle of the minds.

It's gone on now for years.
Each year there's more guilt.
Will this ever be over?

I can't help myself.

I cannot think.
I cannot cry.
I cannot speak.
I cannot die.

I don't understand why.
I only wanted to be
A wife and a mother,
a mother of three

The beginning of the end,
in fact it could be; or
maybe, just maybe
there might be some more

The end of the end
sounds better to me.
I've let me become
The protector indeed.

But, I can handle it.
More, give me more!
The mood swings you claim
you don't have anymore.

Hey, go ahead, come get me
if you think that you will.
For years I have heard you;
Yet, I listen still.

The words that you utter
no longer strike me.
Words of bitterness and anger
now repel off of me.

When did this happen?
Has it just occurred?
Every word that you've spoken
now fully deferred.

Okay, now it's over.
There. I think I'll be fine.
I make too much of it.
It's all in my mind.

No, wait, who am I kidding?
Oh, God, I'm not strong.
I thought I could take this.
I guess I've been wrong.

No harm done. All is well.
Gosh, I've got to run!
I'll go put my face on.
My shift has begun.

A little concealer,
Some lipstick and blush.
One glance before leaving;
my voice is a hush.

I looked in the mirror.
Who did I see?

I looked in the mirror.
You're looking at me.

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