by Howard Nichols

Created on: March 09, 2007   Last Updated: December 09, 2008

Jailbreak

A life sentence without parole
That's how I was living
Resigned to it
A ten-foot cell of loneliness
I convinced myself I deserved it
I was doing the time
I must have done the crime
Not designed for friendship
Missing some crucial human quality
Everything confirmed it
Everyone confirmed it

Once in a while I heard footsteps
The jingle of keys
But they never stopped

At my door
And I stopped running to see
Became ok with it
I must be where I belonged
Stockholm Syndrome
Almost happy
Until the footsteps stopped
Outside my door

I didn't react at first
Must be hearing things
No visitors allowed
'Til I looked up
There you were
Smiling through the bars
Key in your hand
No way, I'm dreaming
Rubbed my eyes
Looked again
And you were still there
Not wearing blue
But stripes, like me

A jailbreak?
A partner in crime?
No way, I thought
But you unlocked the door
Held it open, beckoning
No way, I thought
A hallucination
So I stayed on my bunk
You called again
"C'mon man. Let's get out of here"

An abandoned pup, offered a milkbone
Longing, but not trusting
You coaxed me to the door
I smelled the grass
Saw the sunshine
Felt the warmth
Stepped out and smiled at freedom
And you shoved me back inside and slammed the door
With a laugh

I cried, uncomprehending
Stood at the door for a month
With my hands thrust through the bars
Calling for you
Begging for you to come back
Hearing nothing but the echoes of my own screams
Until I gave up and went back to my bunk

Then I heard your footsteps again
It took me twice as long this time
To trust you enough
To run for the open door
And your smile
But eventually I went
The lure of freedom
Was too hard to resist
But you slammed the door again
And strolled off, whistling

I didn't call from the door
This time, but I still cried
It couldn't be intentional
A guard must have shown up
No one is that cruel, even in here
Benefit of the doubt
Not listening to your detractors
I was sure it wasn't your fault
Something else was stopping you
From freeing me
So I sat on my bunk and waited
'Til you came again

The last time you came I needed no coaxing
Maybe before, I waited too long
I went to you, still sure of your goodness
But you slammed the door closed again

That's when I realized
That I was never getting out
Even though you had the keys to all the cells
You could free us all, and yourself
But you chose to remain locked up
And would never let anyone else out
So I hung a curtain over the door
And blocked my ears
And sat on my bunk

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