by Missy Sunshine

Created on: December 03, 2010   Last Updated: December 04, 2010

In a lot of cultures, it's a given that an adult child will always help their parent in whatever way they need.  Of course if the relationship is dysfunctional it’s understandable that a child wouldn’t feel compelled to help out.  The purpose of having family is to be able to depend on them in good times and bad.  What type of a child moves out, gets a good job and says “see ya Dad, eat cat food because I’m saving my money to buy another big screen TV.”  I absolutely adore the cultures where it's a norm that the family stays together!  Grandma can tend to the children thus eliminating the need for expensive childcare outside of the home.   

Remember the television show Archie Bunker?  Gloria and Michael lived with Edith and Archie.  Think of how much suffering could be avoided if parents and adult children got along well enough to actually live together and pool resources.  The adult children could both save money on rent and spent that money for a down payment on a house of their own.  Everyone now a days wants everything now!  Parents can't wait until their children reach the magic age of 18.  Parents can legally kick them out.  I wonder how many of these parents in later years expect that same child they kicked out at 18 to help them financially. 

With this economy, I must say it's really interesting to see how things are working out for people who had the idea if I just

1.)  Go to school and get my education I'll be able to

2.)  Get a good job and I'll be on easy street.  Things aren't that easy are they? 

I must say that my eyebrows are furrowed together in ponderence of the people who've so far said, "if I'm financially able to help my parents, I'll consider it."  I wonder what types of childhoods they had.  I am so thankful to my father, who until his dying day, worried what was going to happen to me even though he didn't need to.   When I brought him a great big brand new bedspread for his bed at the nursing home, he quickly whispered "take that home, somebody'll steal it!"  I regret he didn't live long enough to see me living in my own house.    I've got an extra bedroom where he would have been welcome to occupy forever if he wanted.  I'd like to think that any children I have would posses in their heart a desire to include me in their lives and not exclude me as so many people when they feel they're grown.  

My view from this article is that a parent asking for "money" from their child is asking for the money for non essentials.  I really hate to think that there is a parent out there asking for money to help with the heat bill in the winter and an adult child with college education, and a spouse is refusing them.   There is a whole range of reasons a parent would ask for money.  It's really difficult to paint every situation with the same brush. 

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