Beannachti na Feile Padraig! (Or, Happy St. Patrick's Day!)

Don't know yer own language, ye don't? Well sir, we can't be havin' that, no we can't!

When you see those funny little Irish signs all over on March 17, here's a little primer on what they mean. "Slainte'!" (pronounced: SLAWN-che) means Cheers! Hello! Blessings! and similar. "Cead Mile Failte'!" (pronounced: kade meelah FULL-che) means 100,000 Welcomes! "Erin go Brach" (Brach spelled with CH, not GH, pronounced: AIR-in guh braw) means Ireland Forever!

Find a seat at the local Irish pub and tell the man behind the bar, "Ba mhaith liom Uisce Beatha Eireannach" and see what he does. (buh wahl lum oosh-ka bah-hah AIR-in-nockt) "I would like an Irish whiskey" is what you said, and if he didn't understand you, he's an imposter!

We need to police these phony Irish pubs in America! The very idea...Irishmen who can't speak their own language! But in a pinch, English will do for the time being.

Siochan leat (Peace be with you)
Slan agus beannacht leat (good bye, and blessings be upon you)

Learn more about this author, Gary Crawford.
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