by MIJ

Created on: March 08, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

Sex on the first date or even the first several dates is a bad idea unless the intentions for that person are less then long term. Lasting relationships are ones that are built with time and a solid structure. Lasting relationships are getting to know the other person before making decisions that affect the rest of your lives. Don't be fooled into thinking that your life could be not affected by a one-night stand. If you are not careful that innocent one night can turn to heartache and restraining orders. Sex for most women is personal and most cannot separate love from sex. Once that line is crossed there is no going back.

Its easy in this era to get caught up in the instant gratification and patience is not something our generation is very good at. We seem to go from zero to 60 so fast that we miss everything in between and then look back to see what went wrong.

Sex is so easily trivialized when its rushed into. Why not enjoy the "courting" phase and everything we do leading up to the act. I personally missed out on the "courting" phase on one of my potential long-term relationships and it did not work out, it tanked in fact.

I love the holding hands and making out part of courting. The excitement of what is to come and the time it takes to get there. We know that goes to the wind once we are settled and have kids. Its those moments that we will remember and want to pass on to our children. Would you want to tell your children that you got their mom/dad into bed on the first night or would you want to tell them the story of how you meet?

Its one thing if you know it will be a fling or if you just don't want to put anything into a relationship. At least be honest with yourself and THE OTHER PERSON. There is nothing wrong in a responsible distraction as long as both parties understand their role and agree to it. I guess for some that would ruin the "fun" of a one night stand but honestly if you base your long-term relationship on someone you slept with before you got to know them, what else is there to know? That person who starts of as a bad lover may not be so bad if you got to know them and was willing to put the time into making them better lovers.

Love is so precious and hard to come by that putting in the extra time and effort would be worth it if it means waiting a few dates to get laid. This person may "the one". If you are don't care to be in a long-term relationship than make your intentions known. The odds are in your favor that the other person may feel the same.

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