by F. Michael Monti

Created on: March 08, 2007   Last Updated: January 08, 2008

Despite the opinions of many self-proclaimed experts in the world today, spanking is one of many disciplines that must be available to parents of young children. As with everything else, there is a proper time and place for this form of discipline. And, there are general guidelines that should be followed in putting it to use.

As a father of three, I have used spanking in the past with all of my children. Thankfully, it was not needed often. In general, the guideline that my wife and I agreed to was that spanking is reserved for willful disobedience on the part of the child. In addition, each individual child differs in their perception of discipline. It is imperative that parents understand what does and does not work for each of their children so that ineffective methods are avoided. What works well for one may be totally ineffective for another. In the case of our oldest daughter, if given a choice between spanking and grounding for an extended time period, she would invariably choose spanking so that it would be over with quickly. Our middle daughter would choose exactly the opposite.

Another important parameter relative to spanking is to never do it in anger. If necessary, wait an hour to calm down before administering the discipline. To some it might sound inconsistent to strike a child and not be angry. But realistically, discipline by parents should never be a matter of revenge or retribution. Conversely, it is a tool to teach our children right from wrong and therefore, administered correctly it is an expression of love. It is the parent that does not make the effort to effectively discipline their children that does not love them enough. That is because a child that is not taught right from wrong will ultimately have terrible trouble of their own and will likely cause terrible trouble for other people throughout their later life.

Finally, never go over-board with spanking. Paddling on the bottom will be painful to the child and should deter them from repeating their inappropriate behavior. For very young children, a smack on the hand is often all that is necessary to get their attention. It goes too far however when it leaves bruises or causes other physical harm. You should always follow up with an age appropriate explanation of why this discipline was necessary after your child has calmed down. And a part of that explanation should be an assuring hug to make them know that they are loved.

So please, by all means spank your children when it is necessary to raise them into well balanced and productive adults. Administered correctly from an early age it shouldn't be needed often and will go a long way in teaching them some extremely important lessons.

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