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people seek that feeling. I also think we forget to ask ourselves, is this person some that I will be able to reach my personal goals and aspirations with. People often forget about their lifetime goals when first experiencing that special moment with someone new. They forget that they want to have children and raise their children with a certain religion. They forget that they may not be economically compatible. They forget that the morals and values they consider to be of utmost importance, may not be important to their new significant other.

When looking for a perfect match, not only should a person consider the fabulous feelings of the attraction or the amazing sparks of that first kiss, or even the blissful first year filled with stolen glances and coy smiles. It is important to consider whether this person challenges me both spiritually and intellectually. Does this person value the same things I do. Does this person inspire me to be the best person I can be. Not only do we need to answer these questions for ourselves, it is imperative we consider the answer to these question from the perspective of the other person. A relationship has two people involved - not one. If all the answers to the above stated questions are yes for one person but no for the other - then the couple is not going to be a perfect match, no matter how hard the other party works at it. There are a myrid of books addressing these same questions in the self-help isles of books stores across the country. However, most of them address it from the simple concept of lacking self-esteem. Every person has value. No person is better than another person. Every person is special and blessed in their own way. Self respect is an attractive quality because people who respect themselves also respect other people.

The other thing people forget is that they must have things in common. If you enjoy going out and having fun then you need to find a person that also enjoys venturing out into the world. If you are a homebody, you'll need to find someone that enjoys spending time at home. I recently dated a man that I had nothing in common with except that we both enjoyed going out with our friends. Unfortunately, we went to different places and we had completely different sets of friends. He had children and I didn't. He was divorced and I had never been married. He worked with his hands and only graduated from high school and I have a juris doctorate degree. I made more money than he did and I was exposed to opportunities that he wasn't. All that being said, I thought he was an amazing person. I adored him. However, when it really came down to it he was not my perfect match. We had little in common outside our chemistry. We had different views of where our lives were headed. He broke up with me for a twenty-four year old girl that was at his educational level and has a child of her own. Three months after we broke up they were living together and she is now taking care of his children and has essentially replaced his ex-wife, whom is also twenty-four. He's in his thirties. The truth of the matter is that they have the same life goals. They view things from similar perspectives. I could be bitter about the situation but it would have never worked out. We had nothing in common. That is not to say that my morals and values are the only or right way of thinking. They aren't. They are what works for me. Every person needs to find their own way. It just means that sometimes to people are not meant to be. I should have asked myself the same questions as stated above. Next time, I will.

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