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I'm a long time sufferer of chronic pain and fatigue (Fibromyalgia and Myofascial Pain), I also suffer from manic depression and when I get over tired and stressed it often trigger mood swings. It has taken many years to get to the point where I have any kind of understanding of what was wrong with me. I've always struggled to attend school and work, often because I need a lot more sleep to feel rested and when I'm not working and I'm at home I'm what they call an Owl', or someone who rises late and retires late. I've always been that way but have always had to work against myself to fit into what was expected of me.

For along time my pain was labelled growing pains' until of course I stopped growing and only then did doctors consider that something else was causing it. That's over twenty five years of being ignored. Even when I was diagnosed as a depressive I always thought that, in some cases at least, my bad moods where triggered by something else, I later learned I was right. There have been times in my life where the effort to walk, sit sometimes even lying down was too much. Sometimes I wouldn't feel too bad in my head; it was the inconvenience of constant pain and fatigue that led me to blacker thoughts, other times my mood came irrespective of what my body was feeling. But as is often the way with doctors, my opinions about my own cycles and symptoms over many years of experience were superseded by the few minutes of evidence' the doctors judged me by. I've had a lot of bad experiences with doctors, but also some good ones too so I don't wish to tarnish them all with the same brush, but when your in a low mood it's very hard to stand up against them if you feel they're wrong. If you're feeling worthless, why would your opinion be worth more than a doctor's?

When I first felt like things were too much and something was defiantly wrong I went to the doctors with a list of symptoms that had been piling up. I started seeing a GP one a week/fortnight for 20 minutes about the low moods' and it wasn't until I confessed my thoughts of suicide and self harm (which had been there for some time I just didn't feel safe enough to divulge them) then suddenly the correct check box was ticked that said ok this person might need some real help'. Of course there were very long waiting lists and any hope of getting help in the crisis moment' was lost. The trouble with mental health is it so under funded here the doctors are often only willing to listen and do something

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