by Laura LeFae

Created on: November 27, 2010

 Despite stigma and stereotypes, anyone can become an abuser or a victim. The abuser is rarely the dark, brooding, alcoholic sadist Hollywood has painted a picture of.  The abused is not always a frail, quiet damsel in distress. In fact, many times it takes a considerable amount of time and several incidents before abuse is suspected. If society could easily discern the two personalities many instances of abuse would not occur.

  Anyone can abuse another. Abuse can take many forms and has several definitions, which sadly, differ from one person to the next and from one culture to the next. What is acceptable to a person or society may shockingly be common place in another. It is important to realize that, at the very least abuse may be defined as unwanted behavior inflicted upon by a person or group of people in a way that is harmful to ones' body or mind. abuse can range from emotional to physical.

 Emotional abusers are good at cutting someone down, so to speak. The reduce their victims to submission by using manipulation, mind games, guilt trips, and very often verbal abuse. Despite a possible boisterous and cocky attitude, this person has little self esteem and feels better by pointing out everyone else’s' faults. They start out by making small criticisms and suggestions as to how they want the victim to act, dress, speak, etc, then the abuse escalates to name calling, accusing, etc. These are red flags to consider when meeting anyone of this nature.

 Unfortunately, emotional abuse is also too often a precursor to physical abuse. Physical abuse may seem to be the most obvious form of abuse. However, both the abuser and the abused can hide the abuse very well. A woman or man who has had their eyes blacked may not go out in public for days in order to hide the injury. Many abusers punch, slap, cut and other wise injure their victims where the bruise or wound can be discovered under the victims clothing. Both parties will lie about the infliction making up stories as to how the injury took place.

 Sexual abuse is a component of physical abuse and it may be the easiest abuse to hide. Society is learning the hard way that sexual abusers take the form of a trusted babysitter, clergy member or teacher. Most people that are abused are done so by someone they know. Partners and spouses can be raped or molested, despite popular belief. Due to this stigma, many instances of spousal rape go unreported. The abuser feeds off of this

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