by Cat Treebrook

Created on: November 27, 2010

Super Slide

Flash forward 10 or 15 years. Trixie, Boon and I are at the school carnival. Trixie is a room mother and is in charge of “coordinating” the non room mother volunteers at various carnivalesque stations. One of her exhibits is across the blacktop winning a cake walk and the other is at her elbow enthusiastically licking a ring pop asking what color her tongue is. My and Boon’s exhibits, A and B are checking out the jump shack. Exhibit A spies the Super Slide. This is a huge banana colored blow up slide. It is 75 cents for 3 slides. First slide: Boon takes exhibit A up and down the slide. It is a success. They come down together with wild smiles. Second slide: Boon gains permission to take exhibit A and exhibit B down simultaneously. A and B come down with wild smiles.

Boon: “Hey babe, you wanna take them on the next one. That one really pinched my balls.”

Me: “Sure”, I am chuckling slightly.

In the background, I hear Boon say something about it getting pretty hairy steep up there and that maybe I want to just take one exhibit. I shrug and take them both. About half way up, I start thinking, hey this is pretty steep. Three quarters of the way up I am overcome with the smell of wet swimsuit and am marveling at the fact that this is really STEEP. Boon compared it to climbing the summit of Everest. (We’ve watched multiple documentaries on this feat so have a pretty good idea of what this entails.) We, A, B and I, reach the pinnacle. The Velcro slide cover is ripping all over the place (I am slightly disconcerted). There is no platform hence, no leg to stand on and nothing to hold onto. I ungracefully position A, by pulling him by his arm into a sitting position suitable for sliding. I do the same with B. We slide. I spend 2/3 of a second smiling wildly. Then I reach the sudden end of the steep super slide and bottom out. I have jarred the living shit out of my tailbone.

Me: “Fucker” audible only to myself.

I crawl off the poofy end of this torture device and find my shoes.

Me: “I know what you mean (speaking of his pinched sack). I really jammed my tailbone back there”.

Boon: “Hurt your tailbone? Sorry babe, how’d you do that?”

Me: “At the bottom of the slide, I jarred it”.

Boon: “What, did you hit the ground?”

Me: “No, I was going really fast and it just stopped. I bottomed out. I really hurt my tailbone.”

Boon still does not

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