by Rebecca K.

Created on: November 26, 2010   Last Updated: November 27, 2010

Bonding with your new born is one of the most precious gifts of womanhood. Nothing, absolutely nothing can fill your heart so full or make you feel loved and wanted so much as holding your  baby. These feelings for many women are present from the moment of birth or perhaps earlier. For others, it takes a few minutes, maybe even days before a new mom feels attached to her baby. Truth is, there's no right or wrong way to bond, just make sure you make enough time to do so.

Bringing a new life into the world is stressful. It is fine to acknowledge this. All of the sudden changes in sleep, schedules, finances could set your head spinning. Add to that a difficult  birth and perhaps not enough help at home, and a mother could have bonding issues with her baby. Hormones also fluctuate to a high degree post-birth and that can also make a new mom feel incompetent, blue and over-worried. These things do not have to stop you from bonding however.

The way to help foster a good bond early on is to set up a good birth plan. True, you may not be able to help whether your baby is born vaginally or by c-section, but you can help what happens when you come home. Ask for help. Contrary to what you see on sitcoms when a woman has just come home from the hospital, you won't be parading to your friends house, baking a huge celebratory dinner or catching up on extra cleaning. You will be feeling pretty rough, like you were hit by a mack truck and ideally, someone should be staying with you or nearby who can pop in and help with meals and look after any older children as well.

Having time to heal, recuperate and deal with the post-birth pain will put you a big step in the right direction for bonding. As you rest, you can frequently nurse your  baby as needed, and to hold him/her close. Many women feel a separation after the baby is born, and probably the baby is feeling it too. The outside world is new and maybe scary to your  baby so pick him up frequently, snuggle him on your shoulder and tell him it'll be alright. Eventually your baby will settle in and you will have a new routine that feels normal. Bonding can be immediate or take place over time. The only thing that matters is that it happens.

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