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No. Step-parents do not get enough credit, but then we did not get into a relationship with the idea that credit for our behavior would be the item in our life that determined our self-worth.

I was the child of step parents (as a father figure) at least 15 times. My mother was never satisfied with what she married and soon traded that one in for the next. I guess the men in her life tried to do their best but were for the most part truly uninterested in the welfare of the kids that came as a package deal.

When I remarried I really did not think that we would be gaining custody of my husband's two then small children (small meaning 7 and 9 years old). Then when their mother lost custody of them the courts gave us custody, but it was only after they asked me if I would accept them and attempt to raise them with my husband.

Right from the beginning the habits and lack of training in the kids surfaced and so did the fact that they resented my presence. The little girl in particular felt as if I was taking her mother's place in her life. The fact of the matter is the biological mother soon lost all interest in any of her kids except maybe the youngest and moved on to better paying grounds. I do not even know the woman and she hates me for marrying the kids Dad when she thought he should go crawling back to her. She was the one that left him and he should crawl back? This is not a happening thing.

My being an overly critical person did not help the situation because I felt kids should have manners, be somewhat respectful and not do things to deliberately get the attention of folks outside of the family. I was not used to kids that hoarded food, deliberately destroyed things, lied constantly, did everything they could to gain public attention, and stole repeatedly, but I figured it was either as a result of their resentment toward me or the training or lack thereof in their earlier years. It got to the point that I could time my daily phone call from the school to tell me something was going on with my youngest.

My husband and I tried everything. We tried counseling, ignoring the behavior, punishing the behavior and so on. Nothing worked. Then the youngest began speaking in "private" to her dad telling him how neglected she felt, how my oldest daughter "picked on her", how mistreated and unhappy she was and he bought into it. He then began to start almost every statement with "she said" and taking it for the absolute truth if I didn't rise to defend myself. I finally

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