by Aldrin A Wilding-West

Created on: November 24, 2010   Last Updated: November 25, 2010

These simple methods can significantly improve your relationship with your child, and help you reduce the number of tantrums you experience, leaving a lasting legacy which will aid both of you throughout your child’s future development.

Respect and Co-operation:

Your child is a human being who is learning from everything you do. Routines are learned very quickly, so get it right early on.

Avoid confrontations and shouting demands. A common example, said politely and kindly, might be, “Would you please stop banging the door sweetheart? The noise is loud and it's giving me a headache?” Try this out instead of shouting, “Stop banging the door!” The use of a question here, rather than a demand, gives your child the knowledge that they can control the situation, help you, and will also show the child the concept of understanding their actions and the consequences.

Another example might be, “Do you know which parts of your body vegetables help to grow? Your body needs those vegetables to work properly.” Children are naturally inquisitive and eager to learn. This approach, rather than shouting, “Eat your vegetables!” allows for intelligent and learning conversation, pulling the angst out of mealtimes too.

Conversation and questions and answers are a huge part of bonding between parents and children, the more you talk and explain through questions and answers, the more your child will come to understand consequences of actions and what is good or bad for them.

In heated moments, lapses in your ability to maintain this approach are inevitable, but do try to make them the exception and not the rule.

Natural Equilibrium:

Praising your child for the positives they achieve will go a long, long way toward promoting a positive and loving relationship between you. Praise in at least equal measures as you have to discipline. Perhaps when they are least expecting it, playing quietly and nicely, praise them for doing so. If you're lucky, you might catch them as they stop and think before doing something they realise they really probably shouldn't. Praise them for realising and stopping themselves.

This is such a fundamental and extremely logical thing to do, and can only help the relationship between you and your learning and developing child. They will be eager to please you. With positive praise for things done well, and constructive discipline for things perhaps not so tolerable, your child's respect for you will increase,

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