by Erika Mourar

Created on: November 24, 2010   Last Updated: November 25, 2010

Teenage years are a time of letting go, a time for the teenager soon to be adult to find his or her own way. As parents you have a responsibility to let them become independent. It may be hard at times to watch your child make mistakes but learning from mistakes plays a major part in personal development. You have to trust in your teenager and in yourself. If you taught them well, they will largely be alright with a few minor set backs at times.

As far as avoiding peer pressure, there will always be peer pressure, it cannot be avoided. Everybody wants to be liked and aims to belong. It is what makes us a society. Having this wish you will want to please whoever you want to like you and you will do things to make them feel you belong. The measures taken to achieve this goal determine whether it is a healthy endeavor or not.

Wanting to fit in in itself is not a bad thing. Often overlooked is that peer pressure can actually be a good thing. A teenager studying hard to achieve high grades or to compete with others shows an example of positive peer pressure. So resisting peer pressure altogether would in fact hold your child back. The goal should be to recognize and classify pressure and act accordingly.

The best tool when faced with peer pressure issues is to keep the lines of communication open. Ignoring the problem exists will do as little to solving it as will restrictions and rules. Preaching to a teenager will also not do the trick. Instead listen and ask questions. Stay calm and be patient, some things take time. Answering the questions will lead them to self-reflection and help them recognize mistakes made. They can then either remedy the situation themselves or they can ask you for your help.

A teenager with healthy self-confidence, a strong sense of home and belonging and some common sense will stay on the safe and narrow for the most part. Bad judgment will occur here and there but most likely these will be about fashion, or study habits and not life-threatening decisions such as drug use.

To sum it up, no you cannot teach a teenager to resist all peer pressure and you shouldn't want to. Give them the tools to make smart decisions and trust them.

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