by Margaret Mair

Created on: November 23, 2010   Last Updated: July 09, 2011

You should never judge a book by its cover, or a person by his or her size - and yet people often do.  Larger women too often find they are not given the respect they should be, simply because of their size.  That makes it that much more important for them to respect themselves.

If you are one of those women, how can you build that self-respect and the confidence that comes with it?  The most important thing to remember is that you can make choices in your life.  Those choices can help you feel happier and healthier.  They can help you find new friends or take even more enjoyment in the company of old ones.  Or they can make you feel worse.

It’s also important to remember that your body does best on the same things as everyone else’s - good, nutritious food, healthy exercise and time to play and for rest.  The main thing to focus on is not the size of your body, but how to take care of it.  A healthy body not only makes you feel better, it makes you feel better about yourself.

Food is a difficult area for many larger women, particularly those who have tried several times to lose weight. Whether or not that includes you, it helps if instead of thinking about weight and dieting you focus on learning about what foods do your body good.  Then you can make sure to include those foods regularly in what you eat - and eating them will help you feel good.  You can find useful facts about food at Nutrition.org - just focus on the facts you need. 

Are you physically active?  If not, you may want to focus on physical activity.  If you are not sure what counts as physical activity, or how to choose a good programme of activities for yourself, you can find a guide by clicking here.  This article talks about what counts as physical activity, where some of the things you usually do during your day might fit in, and how to go about getting more active.  

How you feel emotionally is closely related to how you feel physically.  Feeling sad or depressed can keep you from being active - even though being active helps you to feel better. Life becomes even more complicated if you find that you simply do not want to go outside and face other people.  Then it may be time to ask for help - if you need help deciding whether you need a counsellor or a way of finding one to help you, you can find counsellors all over the UK through the online Counselling Directory. 

If you feel unwelcome in the places you go to, take some time to look for places where you are welcome, and spend your time there.  There are organised social events and trips specially designed for larger people, like those organised by Big Girls’ Paradise, which has events in London and Manchester.  http://www.big-girls-paradise.co.uk/events.aspx  There are clothing stores like Curvy Diva, and Simply Scrumcious sells sexy plus sized lingerie.  There are a lot of online resources specially dedicated to you and others like you.

Taking the first steps can be hard, but remember - you are unique, and there is a world out there waiting to know you.

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