by Aster C. Lilly

Created on: March 08, 2007   Last Updated: May 19, 2007

Here is an hour by hour report of my first experience with Myspace.com.

3:30 AM 9/28

My friend sends me an email. Myspace? What heck it that? I click on the link, a bawdy set of advertisements pop up, and my insomniac brain is assaulted by pictures of gothic teenagers and dudes with massive six-pack ab muscles. I click "EXIT PROGRAM", shut my laptop, and go to sleep. Unknowingly, I didn't actually close the program.

5:45 PM 9/29

Hard day at work. Boss wanted me to stay late, I promised to come in early. Hop on my computer to check my mail, turns out that I left Internet Explorer running! Myspace is still on.

I check out the pictures on the cover page. There are a couple of cute girls on here! I like myspace now, so I set up an account.

5:50 PM 9/29

My inbox has a confirmation email from myspace, I confirm it.

6:00 PM 9/29

I send a few emails to my friends asking if they're on myspace.

8:12 PM 9/29

Damn. There are some hot ladies on myspace! I never knew! I'm addicted. I send out friend requests, unsolicited.

8:43 PM 9/29

A girl, (sassysparkly) sends me back a note that says "I don't know you, why are you sending me this message? Go away and don't bother me again!"

I feel the pain of rejection.

8:44 PM 9/29

I realize I skipped dinner. I take a small break to check my voicemail and watch some television on the couch.

9:03 PM 9/29

TV is boring. Back to myspace.

5:45 PM 10/2

I haven't slept all week. However, now I have 200 friends! I am the king of myspace. It's getting kind of slow, however. The interface is kind of annoying, too. I hate obnoxious advertisements that are popping up.

6:24 PM 10/2

Eric, my buddy, calls me to hang out. I talk with him for a few minutes and tell him about myspace. He tells me "You are a nerd, man. You need to get outside more often."

6:37 PM 10/2

I use Photoshop to CREATIVELY enhance my picture. Now I am much more attractive, and I have blue eyes.

(This pattern continues for the next four months.)

4:00 AM 3/25

I really should be doing my taxes, but here I am, on myspace. I have more than 500 hundred friends. Most of these people I haven't sent an actual email.

4:01 AM 3/25

I realize I have no life outside my computer. I decide to put an end to it. I reach for...my can of jolt cola...no, no...I reach for my ipod. I put on "Eye of the Tiger" and get to work deleting my myspace account.

8:55 AM 3/26

I crawl into work an unshaven mess. The lesson I learn is that myspace, while being an ugly, slow website, with interesting capabilities for human interaction, is no substitute for ACTUAL human interaction.

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