by Dugan Mcshain

Created on: February 23, 2005   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

So the siren goes on, and the lights start flashing and you're getting pulled over. Don't panic, First of all, you need to make the cop VERY relaxed. To do that don't floor it and laugh at the pursuing pigs, put on your blinker and immediatley pull over to a safe area.

Cops are afraid these days. Any yahoo with a couple of hundred bucks owns a gun. Random shootings from routine traffic stops are not uncommon. So put the police officer at ease and they'll go easy on you. Turn your engine OFF. An idiling engine is a warning sign for a cop. If your engine is idling the cop will probably approach your window with his hand on his holster. Watch, as he writes you a ticket you'll know I was serious.

After you turn off your engine. Turn off the radio, and turn on your cabin light. A cabin light lets the cop know that you aren't doing anything crazy like trying to stuff your ganja down your pants. Next, get out your licence and registration. This is vital as most cops tense up whenever they see someone reaching someplace crazy. Since your lights are on they'll know you aren't trying to pull a fast one on them. After your radio and engine are off, and your cabin lights are on, roll down your window and put your hands on the steering wheel, with your licence on your lap. Keep them there until the officer gets to your window.

You may think these things are foolish, but most peace officers are on edge. You would be too if you could get shot for doing your job. After they approach your window be polite but honest, don't give them a story, they've heard it all before. Some cops will let you go if you give them a story worth repeating at the station, but this is dangerous gamble, as most will simply nod while they write that ticket.

That's it, just be cool and respectful and most cops will cut you a break for small infractions. If you have no record and aren't doing anything illegal like transporting mexican nationals into Santa Barbra, then you should be fine and the cop will be so pleased that you made the stop easy that he'll give you a warning and let you go.

This method has worked for me many times and was developed using many of my highway patrol friends as learning tools.

What NOT to do when you get pulled over.
1. Scream "You'll never take me alive pig" and step on the gas.
2. Throw your license in his face and tell him to shove it up his...
3. Don't get out of the car. Stay inside where it's safe.
4. Don't chat them up, they aren't your buddy, they'll know you are just being friendly to get out of a ticket.
5. Don't wait until the cop gets to the window to make a mad grab at your glove compartment or under your seat. This is most upseting for everyone involved.
6. If all your friends think that you are a funny guy, the cop will NOT think so.
7. Don't use foul language, or curse at the cop. This may seem like common sense but you'd be surprised at the number of stories I hear about poeple losing their temper at being late.
8. Don't tell them a long winded story abut WHY you were speeding. They don't care. A short simple reason is enough.
9. Don't talk down to the cop.
10. If you don't smile, the cop won't smile, if the cop doesn't smile... you'll get a ticket.

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