by Ali Koomen

Created on: November 21, 2010   Last Updated: December 28, 2010

Today’s media have glamorized size two bodies, and have trained the human eye to see anyone larger than a size six as ‘fat’.  The truth is, when all sizes are averaged out, a normal -sized women is a 14.  To the public, a size 14 is above average, and not in a good way.

Turn that thought on its side.  If you are a size twenty, you are not a self-defeating nine sizes larger than the perfect size, you’re just three sizes above the average.  Your clothing size is just like your age: a number.  You can act young or act old, that is, your age is what you make of it.  Your size is the same way.  You can chose to be ashamed by it, or just take into consideration that it’s the hand you’ve been dealt.  It is what you make of it.

If you are a big, beautiful woman, you know the trials you deal with daily.  Rude catcalls from complete strangers, the embarrassment of not fitting into airline or bus seats, the tribulations of finding clothes that fit, the stares you receive from others while you are doing the marketing or dining out, the feeling that you know they are wrongly judging you.

There are a few ways to deal with this—respond, ignore or grab a bag of chips and munch away the pain.  While the latter may feel good while you’re doing it, it’s only a temporary fix. 

Ignoring rude people isn’t as easy as it sounds. Prisoners of war, when told the same thing over and over again, began to believe it was true, even when they knew it not to be.  People often equate the word ‘fat’ with the word ‘ugly’.  Have someone tell you that you’re ugly often enough, and you will start to believe it.

Therefore, your only recourse is to respond.  No, not by throwing rude comments back, but by always putting your best foot forward, by making others see past your size.

It’s far too easy to put on a schmatte, tie your hair back and be done with it.  This slovenly appearance only accentuates your size.  You need to start investing in yourself—now. 

The first thing to do is to play up your best parts. While larger women are generally full of self-loathing, each and every person on this earth has something that they consider to be their best feature.  If it’s your eyes, go to an upscale salon and learn how to professionally apply makeup to draw attention.  If your best feature is your ample bosom, don’t punish it by stuffing it into an ill-fitting brassiere and hiding it under a baggy sweatshirt.  Get measured so that you know your correct size, and buy the most prettiest bra you can afford. Then dress to accentuate it.

Take pride in yourself.  Stop wearing frowsy clothes, don’t leave the house without makeup or hair in place.

Next comes the attitude shift.  No more hiding in the corner. Instead, dare to speak up. Let people find out about your intelligence, your sense of humor, your kindness. 

Act as if you are stunningly sexy and desirable, and soon you will have others believing the same.

This is your mantra: my size does not dictate the person I am on the inside.

Use it.

Believe it.

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