by Maria Miaoulis

Created on: November 19, 2010

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, yet it can also be one of the most stressful. No, I’m not talking about cooking and baking up a storm, buying gifts without going into debt or decorating and keeping the house in order for company. I’m referring to the family you’ll likely be having over these next few months, more so those family members who do not get along. So how can you handle the friction and prevent disagreements from ruining your holiday season? Don’t worry, it can be done with a bit of planning and forethought.

-Consider having multiple gatherings:

This is the best possible solution and one that should be reserved for hopeless situations. For example, if your parents are in the middle of a bitter divorce, it’s probably not such a great idea to have both of them over at the same time. Or perhaps one side of the family simply cannot get along with the other. It might require more work to coordinate different meetings, but it’s definitely worthwhile if you’ll be avoiding conflict in the process.

-Physically keep them apart:

If you can’t have more than one event, the next best thing is to literally separate those people who don’t get along. Seat them on opposite ends of the table, put them in different rooms, in short, do whatever it takes to make sure they don’t wind up near each other or alone together. Otherwise, an argument can quickly escalate.

-Ask them to behave:

Petty disagreements are usually childish, and that’s exactly how some adults behave when they harbor resentment. Whether they’re just stubborn or have a legitimate cause to dislike another family member, ask everyone to mind their manners and be polite. At the very least if they don’t have something nice to say, they shouldn’t say anything at all.

-Don’t try to resolve grudges:

Although you might have good intentions and believe the holiday season makes everyone’s hearts warm over, don’t count on people to cooperate. In this case, it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie.

-Stay neutral:

Try not to get in the middle of any family feuds. Regardless who you side with, don’t let it be known that you have a preference or the situation may worsen. Take the certain individuals aside and ask that they not drag you into anything. Reassure each person that you love and care for them very much, but make it clear that you don’t appreciate being put on the spot. Remind them that life is short. They should make the most of these special moments.

Hopefully with these suggestions you can keep all conflict at bay and still create beautiful holiday memories.

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