by Casey-Leigh Hethers

Created on: November 18, 2010

Jealousy in relationships can come from two directions: valid jealousy that is based on a partner's behaviour or unfounded jealousy based on suspicious and mistrust without reason. Valid jealousy is just as destructive as unfounded jealousy as it does not seek to resolve the problems that already exist. Jealousy will take a potentially bad situation and make it far worse, producing further animosity within the relationship. Lack of trust and honesty in a relationship is magnified once jealousy enters the picture.

Communication Breakdown

Once jealousy sneaks into a relationship, the open communication is quick to breakdown and is often pushed to the side. In its place are petty comments from the jealous partner, keen to deride and belittle their partner in the hopes of reclaiming some lost pride. However, all that is achieved when a partner acts out in jealousy is to further worsen the situation. Once the communication in the relationship turns from open and honest to insults and sarcasm, the damage is done. Jealousy will completely take over the relationship and the negative effects will be clear to see.

Dependence Issues

A jealous partner will cling heavily to their partner due to insecurity and low self-esteem that is brought on by the jealousy they are suffering from. It will lead to the remaining partner feeling suffocated and this in itself will cause arguments. One partner will make accusations of jealousy - that the other doesn't make time for the relationship or is looking elsewhere - while the second partner will blame the first for making unnecessary and unfounded demands.

Resentment

Hurt and jealousy will gradually change into resentment and anger. It is hard to view a partner will anything other than bitterness and whatever they might have to say in their defence is deemed irrelevant. The jealous partner will believe any explanation to be an excuse. Resentment will develop on both sides as time goes on. Neither will appreciate the constraints and negative emotions in play in the relationship. The worst result of resentment is the potential that both partners will seek the affection and attention that is missing in the relationship from another source.

The most negative effect of jealousy on a relationship is the potential it has to take a unfounded suspicion and develop it into increasingly serious accusations. These accusations can sometimes drive the innocent (or perhaps not so innocent) partner into the very affair that the partner was originally jealous of. However, it is important to remember that there are mental health conditions that directly cause a person to react with jealous and/or leave a person predisposed to feeling jealous. When a person suffers from conditions such as schizophrenia or personality disorders, it is important to deal with them more cautiously than with others.

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