by Stacia Elizabeth Whitbeck

Created on: November 18, 2010

Adultery once was a topic as hush-hush as divorce, but in modern day relationships, it is accepted as a norm.

We hear about cheating everyday, and it just doesn’t shock us anymore.

Divorce rates continue to climb as our societies become more tolerant and less private. While they are still cherished and valued by many, the ideas of monogamy and long-term commitment are becoming obsolete.

Adultery is not taboo anymore, but more of a household word. There are social venues that not only support but facilitate adultery, making wild claims of spicing up a stale love life and adding a competitive edge to a dormant marriage.

Perhaps the temptations are easier to act upon as technology gives us new gadgets. We can secretly text, e-mail and chat with perspective lovers while our marriage partners are none-the-wiser.

Adultery is a popular topic on day-time talk shows and some even suggest that having a mistress can save a marriage. Keeping a mistress to save a marriage seems contradictory, and cheapens the sacredness of wedding vows.

It seems more common to search within the partner who was betrayed for the cause of adultery, rather than call a cheater a cheater. Perhaps the marriage has lost its sparkle and the once passion-filled days are replaced with unpaid bills. Perhaps one partner feels invisible, that they are not appreciated or valued. Perhaps there was no reason for the adultery, it just happened.

Marriage was never portrayed as a fun-filled, cake walk where every day blossoms with love’s blush. It requires strength, commitment and hard work. Conflict is part of the deal, but seeking intimate comfort or stimulation outside of the marriage is not.

A big part of the appeal in adultery is the naughtiness- the fun and excitement of sneaking around. An affair is void of the responsibilities that come with marriage and the carefree atmosphere is mistaken for love. People who commit adultery are actually cheating themselves out of a fulfilled experience, most likely the reason they took those vows in the first place.

While adultery is becoming the norm, people who partake in it are forgetting a crucial point. The one thing that separates marriage from friendship and other relationships is physical intimacy. It is supposed to be the one, special thing that only two people share. When that vow is broken, the marriage becomes ordinary, with nothing to deem it sacred.

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