by Stacia Elizabeth Whitbeck

Created on: November 16, 2010

Earn money to buy a new cell phone, i Pod or anything you want.

If that got your attention, surely it will pique your teen’s interest. Blackmail and bribery are cheap but if you re-word them, (reward and benefit) they can be useful tools in motivating a lazy teen.

It will at least get them off the couch, out of their teen-cave and into the light. Most teens, most adults even, tune out long, boring speeches. The beautifully worded, ‘ You’re going to be an adult soon, and I’m not going to be there every step of the way, you need to start…’ sounds like static to your teen. If they can even hear it over their music.

Everyone has a price, something that is valuable to them. Find out what your teen values most- maybe a new electronic device, video game, one on one time with you, (unlikely, but possible) or maybe a learner’s permit. Over dinner, provided your teen dines at the table, pitch your deal. Offer a reward for certain tasks, chores or completed goals.

Keep it simple at first, especially if your teen has been hibernating in no-man’s land for a while. Once they are rewarded for positive behavior, they will definitely want to continue. You might not see the joy in their eyes behind that emo-flip, but it will be there.

Now that you’ve opened up a positive energy flow, add in some talk time. Hang out in their room for a bit. Show interest in that video game you rewarded them with. Care about what they care about. Listen, even if you would rather shove cotton in your ears. Their gossip-filled stories about what happened in front of the girl’s locker room matter to them.

A play-by-play of what happened at wrestling practice may not be what you want to watch while you’re chopping onions, but your teen wants to know you’re proud of them. Sure, you’d rather they ace the vocab test, but a successful take down is awesome in its own right.

Beneath your teen’s ‘I don’t care’ exterior, they are scared. Becoming an adult is daunting, made less appealing by the terrifying speeches parents give in hopes of ‘getting their attention.’ Let them know that it is empowering to be self-sufficient and responsible.

Punishment is oppressive and rarely works. Discipline is behavior correction, and often teens need their fair share of redirection. A small does of positive energy goes a long way in motivating a lazy teenager.

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