by Rosemary Redfern

Created on: November 16, 2010

Where we are at this moment is the product of where we have been and our experiences in life. Happiness comes from how we interpret those experience, how we manage the bad events and enjoy the good ones. By keeping a sense of proportion we do something positive for ourselves. 

By accepting that bad things happen to good individuals and good things can happen to bad people, we accept the reality of life. The randomness of positive and negative in each life is a fact of life.  When we can see that and put the unpleasant and distressing events in perspective and concentrate on moving forward in a positive way, looking for the best, we open up our opportunities for happiness 

Happiness is a state of mind which can be cultivated. Sometimes this is really hard to do when we are being assaulted by things going wrong. In these cases it is easy to slide down the self pity route, or dwell on the negative.  If, however, we can lift ourselves above this by changing how we think about what is wrong, and concentrate on anything positive, however tiny, we can make life better for ourselves.  The added result is that we also make life better for those around us. The pain of the bad doesn’t go away, but it becomes more manageable and allows us to appreciate the things about which we can be happy.

There is an aspect of Western society which decries the individual and seeks to play down confidence. Yet, by acknowledging our personal successes and taking pleasure in achievements, treasuring the relationships we have, both close and casual, we can make a positive contribution, not only to our own lives but to that of those around us.  Happiness is looking for things that go right, for the positive aspects of life, accepting awful things can happen but are not the end of our world. 

How we think affects every aspect of our being. By thinking negatively we darken our lives.  By thinking positively, we can life ourselves to higher things. We are free to see the beauty of the natural world, acknowledge those little acts of kindness from others, offer little acts of kindness to others, and see the light and brightness which is there. Our feelings of frustration are reduced and we can deal with irritations when they arrive.  We offer our mind time and space to solve problems with others and events which when we are deep in gloom we cannot resolve. By viewing those who frustrate us in a more positive light we can change how we interact with others. 

Happiness is achievable if we allow it to happen.  It might need some positive effort to hold it in place but life is more enjoyable if we can sustain the feelings and we no longer have to life ‘lives of quiet desperation’ Henry David Thoreau.

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