by P. Payne

Created on: November 15, 2010

Surviving a visit with your grandson is no easy task, whether he is in the midst of the terrible twos or the know-it-all twenties.

Once a grandson learns to walk, talk, and climb, life changes. Forever. At two, the little guy comes into your home like a tornado on two legs, investigating every nook and cranny to see what kind of mischief can be done. About the time he’s dismantled half the furniture and knows trouble is brewing, he climbs on your lap and cuddles up for hugs and kisses, knowing full well you won’t be able to stay angry at such a loving little boy.

Over the years, the same basic scenario plays out, whether the youngster breaks out a window with a baseball, mows down your favorite flower, or lets his pet snake get loose in your house. Grandsons know that grandmothers forgive almost anything if they play their cards right. A hug and a kiss work most of the time. And it doesn’t change as the grandson gets older.

As a teenager, a grandson may not hang out at Grandma’s much, or if they do, they are likely to be preoccupied with their phone, tying up the house phone, texting some girl, or playing video games. But a growing grandson, especially a teenage one, can be counted on to eat a week’s worth of groceries in a day. If Grandma wants any of her favorite soda or ice cream left for herself, it’s best to hide the stuff before the grandson arrives and keep it out of sight until he goes home. A teenage grandson will try to talk Grandma into letting him use her car to go to the store to restock the pantry, but he really wants to go hot rod the car to see how fast it will go. Don’t fall for it.

One of my smaller grandsons likes to play drums, so I find sticks from the yard all over the house. He uses them to pound on things, making his own kind of music. He also likes to entice the dog to chase him, running through my house at breakneck speed. The laughing, yapping and barking is enough to make an old Grandma tear her hair.

Before it’s time for the child to go home to his mother and father, Grandma is ready for a nervous breakdown.

Grandmas should know there are a few necessities that are critical to surviving a visit from a grandson.  First and foremost, grandmas should have plenty of hugs and kisses to give away. The next best thing is to have lots of food on hand, especially cookies, pop, potato chips and ice cream for the growing teenagers. Little ones need a place to take the nap that probably won’t happen, and their own blanket for cuddling. Aspirin for the grandma’s headache is vital, along with phone numbers and an agenda where the parents can be reached at all times. Whether your grandson visits for a day or a week, food and love are the main ingredients for survival.

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