by Jennifer Walker

Created on: November 10, 2010   Last Updated: November 11, 2010

One of the fun aspects of ballroom dances is that many people like to change partners and dance with a lot of different partners. It is normal practice at these events to dance with a variety of people, even if you come with a partner. This practice keeps your leading and following skills sharp and the dancing interesting and fun.

One thing that new people sometimes complain about when they start going to ballroom dances is that nobody asks them to dance. In some places, it could be because the other dancers are cliquish and snobby, but this is not usually the case. Here are some tips that will help you to get out on the dance floor with a variety of partners for plenty of fun.

Act Like you Want to Dance

First of all, if you want people to ask you to dance, act friendly. Smile, chat with people, and make your body language open and inviting—standing with your arms at your side or otherwise relaxed instead of crossed in front of you.

Act like you are there to dance. Stand by the floor, watch the dancers, tap your foot if you like to do that, and generally have an “I want to dance” attitude. Sometimes, when someone is looking for someone to dance with, they will just ask the first person they see instead of seeking someone out who is further from the floor, sitting down.

If there is a lesson before the dance, participate in it. You will usually dance with several different partners in the class, so you get a chance to meet some of the people who will be dancing there all night. They might be more likely to ask you to dance later if they have met you or danced with you already.

If there are “mixers”, where everyone changes partners several times during a song or set of songs, get in on the fun. You will get to dance with several different people without the pressure of having to ask or be asked, and if they enjoy dancing with you, they will be more likely to ask you to dance again later.

Be brave and ask some people to dance. If everyone at the dance waited for someone else to ask them, no one would ever get out on the dance floor! It is quite acceptable—and expected—for women today to ask men to dance. Find a likely candidate, like someone who is standing by the dance floor and smiling or someone you have danced with before, and just ask them to dance. You’ll get to dance, and they’ll be more likely to ask you again later.

Be the sort of person people want to dance with. Take some classes so you know some patterns and technique, and practice. Learn how to dance reasonably well, without hurting your partner by holding them too tight, leaning on them, etc. Along the same lines, Practice good personal hygiene. This should go without saying, but it’s surprising how often someone will show up to a dance in a smelly old sweater or with bad breath. Shower, put on deodorant, and make sure your breath smells fresh. If you tend to sweat, bring a towel to dry off. Remember, you will be in close proximity to strangers!

Part of the joy of ballroom dancing is sharing the experience with other people. Following the simple steps above will help you to get the most enjoyment out of the sport by encouraging other people to ask you to dance.

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